Entry #: 338 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-20 13:42:52
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| Name: |
Reverend Jeremiah Shandee, HAIL JESUS |
| Web Site: |
TASE THE BITCH ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN! |
| Site Rating: |
6 |
Visitor Comments: Dear Sinners and those seeking Redemption,
Just recently some sinner sent me a cd of some dead tenor named Blowjelly or Bocello, something like that, some Italian tenor who died a few years ago after recording some religious stuff, and I listened to this while reading this article about some little pre-teen who was tased by the cops for misbehaving. Between hearing those sad tones from that tenor and reading with sadness about these poor cops and parents, I just knew it was time to write you all.
It's about time that SOMEONE applied some discipline to the young generation today. I would think that a cattle prod up each and every anal canal of a pre and teenager would help control the situation. I have prayed to Jesus over this matter and have received not the slightest return for this. I'm beginning to think that god and jesus need some taser prodding just to get prayers answered. One more week of easygoing prayers and I'm shifting into POP GOES THE WEASLE Mode with prayers and Love of Fellow Man. I've done along in the way of LOVE OF FELLOW MAN and only ended up with a mouth full of sperm.
May you find Love in your heart and Redemption in your underpanties! Smiles to you, Princess!!!
Rev. Shandee, Church of the Sanctity of Mary!
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COP TASES 10-YEAR-OLD SLUT!
Arkansas mother suggested stun gun treatment for unruly daughter
NOVEMBER 18, 2009
An Arkansas cop tasered an unruly 10-year-old girl after her mother called police to report that the child was crying, screaming, not saying her dinner prayers, and refusing sex with the mother's boyfriend. The tased girl, Kiara Medlocker, is about 213 pounds and 4' 6", according to her father and his gay boyfriend, Morty.
Anthony Medlocker, a truck driver and local drug dealer, who does not live with the second grader and her mother, provided CONFESSIONS ONLINE with a recent photo of his daughter, naked and playing with her mother's dildo.
According to the Ozark Police Department report, when Officer Dusty Brandshaw arrived at the residence last Thursday, he found the girl "screaming, kicking, and resisting every time her mother tried to touch her with a branding iron or even the family flogger." Brandshaw added that, "Her mother told me to tase her if I needed to. She told me,'This little slut needs some discipline and you guys should help me with her training.' It was a new taser gun, a gift from Princess Peussie at the Academy, and I was dying to use it on anyone. It's the kind of taser that can cause one to immediately shit in one's pants, and I believe that it was Princess Peussie who gave a number of these to Laura and George Bush at the White Trash House a few years ago, given as a jest, but used quite seriously at their sex and bukake parties".
After Kiara continued to refuse her mother's instructions, the cop concluded that "there was not going to be a peaceful resolution of the issue." Brandshaw warned the girl that she was "going to be put into a brothel to learn some respect for the male member and to do what she is told," but the child continued kicking and crying and resisted his attempt to handcuff and grope her. During the tussle, Kiara "struck me with her legs; her feet slammed into my nuts", reported Brandshaw, who countered with a brief, violent "stun to her back, her nipples and a major blast to her vagina" with his Taser.
The child, not surprisingly,"immediately stopped resisting and was placed into a straight-jacket after her stained underpants were removed. She could not walk on her own and I had to carry her to my police car for some personal "internal" inspections. At that time I put the taser to her head and my penis in her mouth. I told the little bitch at that moment, 'One wrong move and I'll taser your teeth outta your skull'. I think that with a few months training, she's going to be rather special at draining gonads. She's off to her first meeting at the Ozark SPANK ME, JESUS Club, and I'd guess that those Christians there will beat the shit outta her after, ofcourse, her new experiences with some Sarah Palin garden hose/beer enemas."
Kiara was then transported to a local brothel, LOVE'S CHAPEL, for further education and discipline.
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Entry #: 337 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-19 09:28:48
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| Name: |
Brent Schwanzer, JELLY BEAN PRAYER? FUCK NO!! |
| Web Site: |
Give me some of those Jesus Jelly Beans? NO WAY, NO DAY! |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Well Cindy, looks like your son also sent ME this advertisement for JESUS JELLY BEANS. I don't know why as I really hate Jesus. I don't know why I do. My parents said nothing about that guy. My friends were not anti-Jesus, but from the very beginning of my life, I knew this guy was running some kind of scam that caused wars and people like George Bush and his gang of thugs to start illegal wars and kills millions of people in the name of 'his' Democrazy and religion, if you can call it that. And there are so many other reasons I hate him, one being that he doesn't dress well and his hair is sort of hippy-style.
I think I'll just forget eating these jelly beans means and stick with my chocolate suppositories.
Thank you very much,
Greetings from Toronto,
Brent Schwanzer
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November's Prayer and Poem, printed and included in every package of
JESUS JELLY BEAN BAGS! Available from CONFESSIONS ONLINE.
Jelly Bean Prayer
RED is for the blood He gave, and let me tell you JESUS was so brave,
GREEN is for the weed He made, for us to smoke and it's usually top grade,
YELLOW is for the urine stains on your lips, tastes like spinach or your tightened nips,
ORANGE is for the towel bowl stains, when it's sunny or it rains,
BLACK is for the White Trash House enema hose, up the ass, not the nose,
WHITE is for Christ's little cock, hard to find but hard as a rock,
BLUE is for the Blood of Christ, tossed, salad dressing, veggies diced,
PURPLE is for the prayers at night, fingered asshole, OH, so tight,
PINK is for the Holy Cunt, with Mary calling Jesus 'you little runt',
BROWN is for my HOLE of LOVE, here on Earth or up above.
_______________________________
A bag of Jelly Beans, colorful and sweet,
Is like a prayer....but actually is a suppository of Mother Mary full of Grace with mace...Made for you and me by
CHRISTIAN CANDIES AND SUPPOSITORIES, Tampa Bay, FL
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Entry #: 336 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-18 08:02:35
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| Name: |
Cindy Schaefer, here again and THANKS! |
| Web Site: |
GOD'S TEN LAWS OF LOVE! ALL FROM MY SON.... |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Hello Sinners and Members of this Group,
Endless thanks for the numerous emails and calls about my son. I'm afraid that although he's somewhat of a genius just like George Bush in his White Trash House, he's still selling his body, and for such a low price. Anyway I find that he's taken TEN LAWS OF LOVE BY GOD and rewritten it to suit his own purposes then printed and has been posting this SET OF LAWS in mens toilets and gay bath houses not to mention all of the churches here! Here is the RE-WRITE. First you read the original LAW from GOD, then follows the NEW VERSION thanks to my badass son. I've been reading them and they are very fine indeed, so I can't complain about his needs and ability to write.
Praising Jesus all the way to the toilet,
Cindy
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THE TEN LAWS OF LOVE ACCORDING TO GOD
ONE. Give your partner more than he expects and do it cheerfully.
ONE: Give your partner as many inches of hard cock as you can cram up his ass or down his throat.
TWO. Marry a man you love to talk to. As you
get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
TWO: Tell him you want to marry him because he's a brilliant conversatinalist.
Example:
He: blah blah blah blah
You: hmmmmm....
He: blah yeh blah blah blh
You: have another glass of wine and finish this joint.
He: (drinking) YEH blah blah blah....
You: Isn't it time for your fucking, shit-head?
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
THREE: Don't believe anything you hear. Spend your time sitting on his face more than he could imagine or want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it
FOUR: When you say, "I love you," try to do it without biting your tongue.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
Five: When you say, "I'm sorry," look him in the eye while you grope his ass and pull his nuts.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SIX: Skip Number Six altogether!!!
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
SEVEN: Believe in love only at first sight after you have him tied down, gagged and have covered his eyes with masking tape.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't
have much.
EIGHT: Never laugh at anyone's dream. Only offer him 'delights' to cause nightmares of the worst kind. Tell him that Love is not always sugar-coated. LOVE is sometimes like having your cock and balls covered with clothes pins.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way
to live life completely.
NINE: Love deeply (at least seven inches) and passionately via drugs and enemas. You only get hurt if you forget to use enough lube.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
TEN: In disagreements, remain calm and dignified as you bring down the cat-of-nine-tails or the nail embedded 'spanker' on his useless ass while whispering in his ears, "you rotten, filthy motherfucker; you'll learn to obey or else".
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Entry #: 335 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-16 21:39:14
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| Name: |
Cindy Schaefer, "HE took my drugs too" |
| Web Site: |
I'll castrate that kid if I find him! PRAISE JESUS!! |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Dear Friends in The Heart of Blessed Jesus,
I've been meaning to write you all here in this guest book but my heart has not been in it, simply because I lost one of my children, well, my 16 year old son. Actually I didn't lose him, but he lost himself in the way of the LORD. Yes, he was shopping with me in the cereal aisle there at Walgreens (it's the only place we can afford to shop for the necessary things) and I lost him somewhere. Then I got a note in the mail today, a postcard saying "I'm ok, you fat ass old whore, and I've met the man of my dream, and I can tell you right now, that he is wonderful and I don't mind being tied down to the bed or to his rack and have my gonads tortured, because THIS IS LOVE and this is the Love that Jesus spoke about with his boys."
What can I make of this? well the first thing I did was call my Uncle Peter and he came over and read the postcard and said, "Good riddance, I knew your son was a loser the way he acted at that last SPANK ME, JESUS meeting and wanted to take the paddle and make the sinners bleed. HE doesn't understand the ways of God or Jesus or in fact Princess Peussie there at the Academy. Good bye, you badass boy". THAT was no help at all. Then my friend, Lisa, the lesbian I met at the Sarah Palin Enema Party this past week, and she said that my son just needed a good Palin beer enema, maybe a series of them over at least a month and that might help". I don't think so although I know my son, Bernie, does have a 'thing' about sphincters and anal canals.
I was just interviewed by some creeps from that news service called CONFESSIONS ONLINE, and found out that they already knew Bernie was somewhere in the local vicinity, and now had turned into a cheap hustler, selling his asshole to any guy for $5 per night. He's allergic to rubber so I know he's not using condoms. But then I do not either.... so it's The Way of Life here.
What should I do?
He must have had the extra key to this trailer court home of mine, because he came in while I was at my prayer meeting last night and stole all of my Bocelli recordings of various tunes. Bernie knew just how much I love to hear that dead tenor just wailing away and sounding so sad. And I have no money for more cds. So I'm without my Bocelli, my son, and my drugs. Yes, dear sinners, Bernie took my stash of cocaine, as good as any they used at the White Trash House in the time of George Bush, and my marijuana and heroin. He took it all and probably is giving it to his sex partners. What can I ask of Jesus? Please give me some smack, crack or just some blow????? Even the local Father Paternastim of OUR SHRINE OF VAPORS is out of drugs and he says 'it's going to be a while until we get a new delivery'.
I wish I had remained a nun and stayed in that cloister. But I guess there's no turning back. Please put me on your prayer lists! And if anyone does know the exact location of my son, please let me know. He also took my favorite bottle of lubricant, and I'm at a loss without it.
Jesus Rules for Fucking Sure!
Cindy Schaefer, New Haven
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Entry #: 334 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-13 17:21:44
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| Name: |
Mary Mount, Academy of Jelqing, Philly |
| Web Site: |
PUBLICITY HUNGRY WHORE! PRAY FOR HER SINS!! |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Dear Servants and Fans of Princess Peussie and Lord Jesus,
I felt it my duty to write you over the scandalous behavior of Ex-Miss California for over some time now. We here at the Academy, in particular, Princess Peussie, want to state most emphatically that at no time have we backed Ms. Prejean in any of her filthy porno videos in the past. We have assisted the film team and the LESBOS VIDS FOR THE SHIDS in new and adventurous approaches to adult entertainment, but we want to state here and now: Ms. Prejean is not part of our 'means of education' and we disassociate our activities from this girl and her shocking behavior.
We have removed Carried Prejean from all of our prayer lists,
Mary Mount, Personal Secretary to Princess Peussie
_____________________________________________________
EX-MISS CALIFORNIA: SEX TAPE SCANDAL
Rolanda Schmerzville, Reporter
Caliente Press, Southern California
Nov 11, 2009
Dethroned former Miss California Carrie Prejean is at the center of a new scandal following reports she's the star of yet another new sex tape. The video report comes from the Academy of Jelqing in Pennsylvania and was a film project at this Academy, run by Princess Peussie. According to CONFESSIONS ONLINE, "we here at the Academy have this video and have put it onto youtube so that people could see just how talented this Prejean slut actually is, at least with that 3 foot metal dildo. The original production team, from Greeley, Colorado, that shithole of a dump, were killed in the police attack or in hiding, but we continue on with our finest of Prejean Depravity".
The yellow haired beauty queen was stripped of her panties, wig and crown earlier this year after candid shots of her posing while sitting on the face of a 350 pound life guard, Venice, California, hit the Internet - a strict breach of the pageant's rules. Officials also took offense to her decisions to miss official engagements with rich male clients - an allegation she denied. Ms. Prejean, in her new book, "HAPPY HOLES", talks about her admiration for the dead tenor opera singer, Andrea Bocelli; she wrote that "we were planning to make a porno film together during the last year of his life, but because he was blind and somewhat deformed 'down there', he just couldn't find which hole goes where and what to do about it. I thought for awhile that this film could be a popular with opera goers and Italian women and let's face it: just kinky fuckers who love weird stuff, but just TOO MUCH GARLIC....and smiles to Princess Peussie, who envies me non-stop".
And now it appears Prejean, who hit the headlines when she questioned gay marriage at the Miss WHORE USA pageant, is caught up in another controversy. Originally she stated publicly, "Those guys sucking on each others' cocks? Well I guess it's ok but you know, I think it's better to Praise Jesus like I do, then go 'down on me' AFTER you marry me or at least fuck me really good. Marriage? it's all bullshit, but on tv I try to make the most of it. I'm one of those old fashioned Bible Thumpers...and yes, I have been thumped on a pile of bibles until my vagina was screaming, PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE MARGARINE."
Recently she befriended Sarah Palin and joined the Miami Palin Enema/Colonic Club where she received her first gin enema. "Blow that one outta my asshole" stated Carrie at the conclusion of the enema trial 'run'. "Sarah has the cleanest anal canal this side of the Rockies, even cleaner than Laura Bush when she was throwing those colonic parties at the White Trash House".
The members of the Academy of Jelqing have seen the sex tape. This newest video includes anal activities with an 8 foot python snake and two rats. Ms. Prejean loves to make these films and is "doing very graphic things to her body with gigantic objects and various farm animals," adding "no one else is featured on these tapes". Her agent, Carla Cummons, told the recent Miami SPANK ME, JESUS Club, after a film viewing, that "Carrie is rather shy, particularily when it comes to vaginal fisting, and prefers to let her Christian followers watch her as a solo performer, saying that she believes that God wants it that way".
The insider says Prejean was 17 when the first of many videos was shot. Agent Cummons stated, "OK, so it was slightly illegal and I know the police have already moved in on the production team there in Greeley, Colorado, but at the time of the roundup, four members of the film corporation were shot and killed. I know this, as I have THAT film footage of the arrests. Carrie said that she feels "this is not my concern; I'm an artist.... one of the most important pussy-artists of our generation. You should see how many ice cubes I can cram into my asshole. And if anyone doesn't like it including that Larry King, then they can go fuck themselves". The remaining, living members film production team, LESBOS VIDS FOR THE SHIDS, plan more Prejean films in the future, all to be filmed in Pango Pango.
In response to Carrie's awkward appearance on "Larry King Live" and her ex-boyfriend saying he was told to lie about her age in her solo sex tape, 'Miss California Pageant' President Ken Lewister told the press:
"The public is finally getting a glimpse of the real Carrie Prejean who lives in her own delusional world. Her vagina continuously drips puss all the time, and her brain is dissolving through her nasal cavity. The childish behavior, her negative attitude, the sarcasm and condescending tone, the disrespect and continual lying she is demonstrating now is only a fraction of what we endured during her reign of terror and after. Anyone who buys her book is supporting a woman who is actually the opposite of everything she claims to be. She is one of the filthiest sluts around."
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Entry #: 333 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-12 08:17:11
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| Name: |
Prof. Heinrich Schripnitz, HEIL from Germany |
| Web Site: |
SEX STARVATION? What kind of diet is that? |
| Site Rating: |
8 |
Visitor Comments: Prof. Heinrich Schripnitz, HEIL from Germany
Just recently, Dear Followers of Christ, I've joined the SPANK ME, JESUS Club here in Munich, and I can tell you: The sinners are lining up for their sin-removals via spankings, paddlings, and prayers. However I must admit that dealing with these young people is a problem. Read the article below and I need not say another word. There is no discipline with this younger generation anywhere. I can only imagine the problems there at that Texas ranch. Have any of the church elders tried poppers? This can help with the training. Bring out the floggers, the nut-crushers and drugs and let's create a sense of discipline.
Best Wishes from Munich, the German Capital of Beer and Beer Enemas!
Servus,
Heinrich Schripnitz
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SHOCKING REVELATIONS OF SEXUAL STARVATION!
Mimi Carver, Journalist
Eldorado News Spread
Nov. 10 2009
A polygamist sect member arrested following last year's raid of a west Texas ranch was convicted Thursday of sexually starving an underage girl with whom he had entered into a "spiritual" marriage, the state's attorney general said. According to the police report, "this Jessop guy married her and promised her some fun, then never even bothered to teacher her the rudimentary tricks of the sexual trade. She wanted to be a good sex slave, a possible prostitute and learn how to serve him and Jesus Our Lord, but he said he was tired of her and preferred her four brothers when it came to sodomy". He added, "And these brothers had better weed to smoke, and I assured them that they could use part of the ranch for growing 'purposes'".
Ray Jessop was found guilty of ignoring a girl under the age of 12, and is expected to be sentenced Monday, said Jerry Stripland, a spokesman for the attorney general. Stripland told CONFESSIONS ONLINE, "You just cannot marry a pre-teen, promise her a fun filled honeymoon then run off with her brothers and penetrate their holes for months. No wonder she was depressed and would have continuous leakage in her diapers".
Jessop, a member of the YEARNING FOR PUSSY Ranch in Eldorado, Texas, faces up to 2 days in prison. The girl was among more than 40 children seized from the ranch in April 2008 by state child welfare workers. The children were returned after the Texas Supreme Court ruled that the state had no right to remove their clothes and inspect and photograph their various 'stained and rather unpleasant' orifices, and lacked evidence to show that they were in danger of not fulfilling their sexual obligations to their seniors. The Supreme Court added, "these young people are growing up to be somewhat charming Christian warriors and with hopes, they will learn to serve Jesus and fight against the infidels and Democrats".
A Texas jury indicted Jessop of sexual 'starvation' of a minor along with other members of the Fundamentalist Church of SPANK ME, JESUS ETERNAL. This church is a 'breakaway' division of the International SPANK ME, JESUS ASSociation, created by Princess Peussie.
According to reports, Princess Peussie has sent out a posse to round up the hundreds of children and get them to the Academy of Jelqing where they will have a 'good education in Everything, including the Love of God Almighty' and the appreciation of 'the sinner's paddle at work and play'.
The church -- a 10-member offshoot of the mainstream PALIN ENEMA CLUBS -- openly practices "the pleasures of Sodomy, Colonics, and Praising Jesus" on the ranch, as well as in Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Arizona. According to Peussie's secretary, Mary Mount, "we offer better pre-teen enema parties here at the Academy and Palace, and I can assure anyone that we use only the best and strongest of beers and gins for our deep enemas just like the ingredients used in the Bush White Trash House a few years ago".
Critics of the sect say young girls and boys are forced into "spiritual" marriages with older men and are sexually 'readjusted and made to worship the phallic symbol'. Sect members have denied that any sexual 'weirdo shit' takes place. According to Jessop, "we have found it necessary to clean up and re-write the Bible and point out that there is nothing in this Scriptures that says an older and more informed gentleman cannot take younger spirits to bed. Ofcourse the Bible says nothing about the use of Crisco as lubricant, probably because they didn't have Crisco at that time".
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Entry #: 332 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-10 02:11:40
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| Name: |
John Frank, Philly Fudgepacked Bottom Boy |
| Web Site: |
'A MacBaren Stroller Circumcized my Baby!!' |
| Site Rating: |
9 |
Visitor Comments: Dear Readers,
Yes, I knew about this slight problem with the hinges on these strollers, and we do plan via the London office to at least offer a few dollars back on the earlier models....or just offer the new hinge-cover, which I hope people will enjoy. This cover, which as it says in the article below, looks like a swollen little cock and set of nuts just going round and round as you stroll with you kid, and it's an eye catcher now, not a gonad catcher some parents complained of. We even sent one off to both the George Bush twin daughters, Gena and No Braina (just kidding) for their future kids as we have all heard of 'gonad party favors' during the stay in the White Trash House. We don't have the home address for Sarah Palin but we'd like to send her a new hinge-cover since she's into pushing and strolling her deformed cretans around for all to see. If you have her home address up there in Alaska or even the closets connection there in Russia, well, send it to me. Thanks, and you too can rest in the Bosom of Christ, if he's not farting at that moment. Smiles, Peussie!
Love,
John here in Rittenhouse Square, Philly
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KID STROLLER REMOVES GONADS
BY MARK BETKIN AND ELIZABETH PLAGUES
DAILY NEWS REPORTS, NYC
Monday, November 9th 2009
Major baby stroller maker MacBaren is set to recall 1 million strollers on Tuesday based on concerns kids can get their fingers, penises and gonads cut off in a carriage hinge, a source confirmed to CONFESSION ONLINE.
All MacBaren strollers sold since 1969 are included in the recall, according to a source briefed on the recall.
The step comes after 120 kids allegedly had their fingers and sex organs amputated by MacBaren strollers.
MacBaren - maker of the pricey Greenland strollers ubiquitous at playgrounds and on sidewalks and various kiddie porn sites across throughout the World - is planning to send owners protective covers for the dangerous hinges. These covers are designed to look like small, erect cocks with a set of spinning balls just below. President Jonathan Franke of Philadelphia told the press, "These cute new covers should save alot of unwanted circumcisions, testicle removals and fingers removed. Just recently at a London SPANK ME, JESUS meeting, one of the younger members told about having his cock and balls removed by one of our strollers. He said it happened when he was a teenager and involved in a massive local teen orgy involving diapers, fisting lubricants, and what he referred to as something on the lines of a Sarah Palin enema tube evacuation".
"Parents should stop using these strollers unless they just think it best that their child or children learn the hard way, but ofcourse with a missing penis, it would be difficult to learn the hard with, with nothing to get HARD, and on that one I can just say, I SMILE TO YOU, PRINCESS PEUSSIE," the source said.
A spokesman for the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, which will announce the recall with MacBaren, declined to discuss the deal but suggested that strollers could be used for hauling groceries and senior citizens "and they won't care if their nipples are gone, and I know about this as my mother lost both her nipples while playing in one of these strollers....and trust me, she doesn't give a rat's ass".
"That's terrible. They waited until how many people got hurt until they did something?" fumed Betsy Body, 43, professional prostitute from Murray Hill, who shelled out more than $17 for a MacBaren Testicle-Triumph Four Wheeler for her 11-year-old son, Gordie Body, a seriously deranged hydrocephalic. "It's very upsetting," she said as she strolled through Washington Square Park, looking for 'tricks' and some crack.
Mom Natalie Nassti agreed. "If this has been going on for 10 years, I'm surprised they didn't catch it earlier, since two of my sons have lost their foreskins, two fingers and in the case of Little BindooBoy, he lost his nuts forever," said the mother of two young young homosexual sons, 14 and 12, who bought her first MacBaren four years ago. "They should have been turned into portable bars, so one could walk along while mixing drinks or even smoking a joint."
Some city parents were more blasé.
"I'm not scared," said Oliver Lyon, 64, a Bushwick, Brooklyn, mud-artist with a 20-year-old son. Lyon said he's never had a problem with his MacBaren and his son "doesn't mind those missing toes and his one gonad".
"Jesus had a worse deal, so I just smile and say a prayer to Him upon that Cross, and thank him that my one ball still can pump out the juice when needed. I look for Salvation, Redemption and the next hot piece of ass".
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Entry #: 331 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-08 21:13:10
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| Name: |
Corrine Remendado, Santa Fe for JESUS |
| Web Site: |
Children Toilet Terrorists! |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Good Lord, such a sad story about this teacher. We need someone to teach cleanliness, ethics and how to use toilet paper since these kids are not getting this info at home. Ms. Enshid gets my vote and she's on my prayer list!
In Jesus we Trust! And GOD too!
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TEACHER IN TOILET TROUBLES
NOVEMBER 5, 2009
LaVerne Dingle, Reporter
Florida News Flash
A Florida kindergarten teacher has been removed from her classroom duties after asking a six-year-old student to mop up the urine, turds and other bodily functions of another child and male teachers in a school restroom.
Educator Martha Enshid, well known President of the Andrea Bocelli Florida Fan Club, admitted she "made a poor decision" Monday morning in her classroom at Foresta Our Savior School and Detention Center, according to the below Port St.Peussie Police Department report. "I guess all of this came about when I heard that dead tenor's recording of the AVE MARIA; I prayed to Jesus and his answer to my prayer was CLEAN UP THAT MESS".
After Jada Portie, 6, reported that another student had urinated and left fecal matter on the toilet stalls on the bathroom floor, Enshid, 61, asked the girl to "help out" by cleaning up after a male classmate (who frequently pees all over the bathroom and refuses to "clean up his endless filth"). The male student toilets have recently been the 'scene' for wild sexual activities between approximately 7 male teachers and 15 male students, according to Principal Maria Sanchez. She told police, "We decided that these orgies with the boys and men were being kept in the toilet area and not out on the playground or in the classroom, and the little boys were all consenting. We discussed this with Jada's mother, the cleanup and the sexual fun, as her mother is President of our local SPANK ME, JESUS ASSociation. Mrs. Portie told the police, "I don't mind all of the sex, but the idea that my daughter, Jada (we call her Dinge for short)having to wipe up warm sperm, hunks of shit off of the walls and then get down on her hands and knees for a few of those dumbass Dolphin Dollars, well, if this goes on, I'm going to buy Dinge some rubber gloves and condoms." Photos of the clean up are seen on CONFESSIONS ONLINE.
After Portie mopped up the urine and sperm with toilet paper, Enshid rewarded the child with three "Dolphin Dollars," play money used within the school for 'buying' drugs, candy, cigarettes, or lubricants.
Police began investigating the incident after Jada's "very upset" mother came to school yesterday morning and told administrators about her daughter's work as a junior janitor. She related how during one cleanup of the toilets, her daughter was bending over when one of the third grade boys came up behind her, pulled her panties down, then crammed a garden hose up her anal canal. Jada was somewhat nervous about all of this but didn't mind when she was told that she was getting a Sarah Palin beer enema. A number of other male students stood around waiting to play their favorite game, "DODGE THOSE FLYING TURDS". The police report stated that "Jada had serious gas problems after this beer enema, and she had just hoped it would have been a whiskey enema instead, causing fewer stomach problems".
After consulting with prosecutors, cops determined that Enshid had not committed a crime. The teacher claimed that she did not "realize the ramifications of her decision and I just felt that it's good discipline and therapy for students to help each other," and said she was not trying to "demean the student or cause her any harm but just have a little fun. I think it's good to teach such behavior; this should have happened when nitwit George Bush and his gang of sodomites were in the White Trash House."
At one point, Enshid asked police if it was okay to have students clean glue off their desktops. A cop explained that, "there was a difference between cleaning sperm and nasal drip and cleaning bodily fluids from the inside a filthy toilet bowl." When young Jada was asked what she had been doing in the mens toilet in the first place, she told the Principal, "I had the trots and was dripping with goo, so I just can in there for a quick shit, and that is when I found the mess".
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Entry #: 330 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-04 17:13:48
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| Name: |
Mattwilda Gerisch, St. Paul's #1 Jesus Fan |
| Web Site: |
Paris Hilton's stolen Vaginal Rosary!! |
| Site Rating: |
7 |
Visitor Comments:   
Dear Friends in Christ and His Bleeding Heart,
The last time someone stole my vaginal party-rosary I was so upset that I could hardly confess to the priest that I thought it might be an old lesbos girl friend of mine, an ex-nun and she had become a sad kind of junkie. But I kept that to myself and only here in this wonderful guest book can I spill my heart, my soul and my guts to you understanding souls.
Teenagers wanting love!!!! It's as simple as that. They break into homes to get much needed money for their drug problems and abortions, and these problems come from not getting enough attention and love at home or by their adoration of super star favorites and not Lord Jesus. Just let them have the jewelry and the filthy stolen panties and dildos and send them off to 'deprivation camp' so they know how much love they really need. All of the five children were sent to detention camp for many years and they learned the 'Art of Making Mommy Happy' in the Eyes of the Lord, Our God on High! Only three of them committed suicide recently, so I feel I've done my duty as a good mother. I learned discipline and self worth via my father who died a proud Nazi commander and was killed but some Allied fuckers over Dresden! What a guy. And HE was a very good Christian, I can tell you.
Here's the new article, and I'd think we should all write letter to the judge and just say, "Give them a break after they have attended their fifth year of SPANK ME, JESUS events".
Don't BLEE on the Lord,
Mattwilda
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HILTON'S STOLEN SEX ROSARY!
By Al Dobuz
Blee Johnny News Syndicate
Nov 1, 2009
LOS ANGELES: Police have arrested sixty people, mostly teens, on suspicion of breaking into the homes of Paris Hilton, Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan, Little Pete Nightengale, The Four Blind JesusBoys of Gospel, Princess Peussie and other Hollywood figures to satisfy a celebrity obsession and steal from them, authorities said on Tuesday.
"They were rabid and greedy consumers of everything fancy, including movie star filthy underpants, and even Paris Hilton's vaginal rosary beads," Los Angeles police officer Brett Goodking told Reutires Wire Service.
He added that the suspects were motivated by "profit and celebrity worship and the need to know very personal things about each star. For example ALL of Paris Hilton's used and stained unterpanties were taken and sold on ebay. She told police that she has yet to locate her dancing sex-balls and her vaginal fisting gloves."
Nicholas Prugo, 14, was charged last week with burglary at the homes of "Mean Bitches" actress Lindsay Lohan and reality star Audina Patridge of MTV show "The Holes". Prugo told the police that he just wanted to steal some of their toilet paper and enema equipment. He was caught with enema tubes, bulbs, three Sarah Palin enema videos, 14 broken condoms and 7 'cum towels' from the kitchen freezer in Kathy Griffin's home.
Prugo is accused of stealing more than $170,000 in priceless Thailand dildos, penis pintzers and African tribal nose-needles and he faces up to six days in prison if convicted. The others have not yet been formally charged.
Sean Erenstick, an attorney for Prugo, said his client and other celebrity thieves attended the same Los Angeles-area crime school along with hundreds of the other suspects. "Mr. Prugo's involvement was very, very limited. He is a respected gay member of the Los Angeles SPANK ME, JESUS Club where he loves to 'pay for his sins' with public displays of self whippings and cock-torture," he told Reuter-Goiter Central News Service, Chestnut Hill, PA."
Aside from Lohan and Patridge, police said celebrity heiress Paris Hilton, "Pirates of the Anus" star Orlando Bloom and "The O.C.ME." star Rachel Pisson were also victims of the burglaries which took place from October 2008 to October 2009. Bloom was missing various 'party toys' including four bull whips, three police straps, 23 bottles of poppers, one kilo of cocaine, an oil painting of Jesus on the Cross, flogging devices, a giant strap-on dildo, and electro-torture equipment.
After Patridge's home was burglarized in February, she posted to the Web surveillance video of a man and a woman rifling through her house before they removed their clothes and had 'violent sex of every nature and variation' upon her sofa and kitchen table before urinated and evacuating over much of her veranda and bedroom furniture. Patridge stated to CONFESSIONS ONLINE: "Shocking that this couple could do such things, there was shit everywhere, but I must admit that they really got me hot and dripping just watching this video, and I'd love to catch them and have them over for a three-some".
Blair Berkoshitz, an attorney for some of the celebrity victims, told the Los Angeles Times that paparazzi coverage had contributed to the thefts. He stated, "These young people just wanted to have some kind of glamorous sex, mutual masterbation with these fancy people they had seen on tv and toilet walls, and maybe a gin enema or two with various stars. They adore these stars and just wanted something of theirs for themselves and get some cash to cover their drug expenses. Why not? If George Bush and Dick Cheney could do this kind of stuff in the White Trash House, then whose to draw the line, or removed the gonads, as we say in Florida?"
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Entry #: 329 |
Entry Date: 2009-11-02 20:05:45
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| Name: |
Latoya Zigler, Los Angeles “testicle fan” |
| Web Site: |
MY TEACHER CASTRATED ME! |
| Site Rating: |
10 |
Visitor Comments: Dear Friends,
This Debra Lafaver certainly has the HOTS for Nuts. I’d think that although she loves young penis, she would at least label those xmas tree jars filled with testicles so that visitors might be able to identify the ‘victims’...if in fact they ARE victims. There are too many young boys running around and pulling this stuff about “my teacher seduced me in the Walgreens toilets” or shit like that. Being a good Christian, I believe in letting such accusations be ignored but this story worries me... at least for Debbie. As I recall, she was on the Board of the dead tenor, Andrea Bocelli, Foundation and was able to embezzle at least $23 dollars from the foundation bank account to buy more of Bocelli’s cds to listen to while she pickled those human nuts in sunflower seed oil and a dash of garlic. But I know for sure that this combo of Bocelli music along with the refrigerated gonads wouldn’t put her in the mood to fry them and serve them to guests. I think personally she is getting a bum rap, or in this case a bum rape.
Let’s just all say a little prayer for her and hope she’s back in the classroom and educating the young folks into the Art of Mating.
Praise Jesus for Fucking Sure!
Latoya Zig
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GONAD GONERS, Praise JESUS!
“Debbie Collects Balls”
Reports detail Florida teacher's lewd encounters with boy, 14, reported by Mary Mount, Academy of Jelqing Press Centre!
November 1, 2009
Police yesterday released their file in the case of Debra Lafaver, the 64-year-old Florida teacher arrested earlier this year for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old boy who attended the Florida middle school where Lafaver worked as a sex therapist teacher. Included in the released records was the below Temple Terrace Police Department report of an interview with the victim, who told cops of his fuck-sessions with Lafaver, who is now facing a variety of felony charges. The boy, Beenie Ramsoom, of Blee, Florida, told of the final event which sent him to the hospital; according to Beenie, “Debbie got mad at me for jacking off on her new dress, and then she grabbed my nuts and before I knew it, she was screaming, “I do this for your sins and your weak belief in the POWERS of Jesus Our Lord for curing the mentally sick and those with skin diseases”, and then she took an old fashioned electric meat carving knife and removed my balls...just like that: ZAP. I was screaming and couldn’t stop the blood no matter how many cries to Jesus for help. The only way to stop the blood and get help was to close up the bleeding nut-less scrotum with clothes pins, and you should have seen the neighbors when I ran screaming out of her house to the clothes line and try to attach these clothes pins. They were all laughing and shouting, but I was crying too hard to notice.”
Ms. Lafaver, a member of the South Florida SPANK ME, JESUS CLUB and past board member, told the police, “I couldn’t help myself because I just love balls, any size or shape and I keep them in jars so that when Christmas rolls around, I can get my collection of 30 jars and hang each jar from my xmas tree along with the various foreskins I’ve removed from my non-Jewish students. Looks like I’ll have to move on to something in the junior high school or high school range, and hope these boys can keep the stiffies at attention for my therapy sessions”, as was reported by CONFESSIONS ONLINE.
According to the boy, his relationship with Lafaver began with a week left in the 2008-9 school year, when "she became affectionate and told me about Sarah Palin enemas, just like they gave visitors at the Bush White Trash House; she said that with a few gin or whiskey enemas, she would initiate me into more exciting adventures. I had no idea that with my asshole and bowels filled with beer and whiskey, I’d be so dizzy that she could tie me to the wall in her apartment and whip the shit outta me."
The student then went on to detail encounters with Lafaver in her Greco Middle School classroom, a stolen automobile “where she first used her false teeth all over my dick head and caused serious piss drainage”, and the woman's Tampa-area home. At the request of investigators, he gave them a description of Lafaver's vaginal tattoos, tan lines, and private parts; they asked if I had many photos, and my teacher-pussy collection was shown to the entire police force. He even drew a diagram of her bedroom, the toilet where she would tie up and hang various young men from a shower curtain and inject her Palin enemas into them, and living room with the old, driedup xmas tree and the ornaments of glass jars filled with severed testicles. And in a move to buttress the victim's account, cops obtained surveillance video from a Best Buy outlet showing him in the woman's company at the electronics store where she is seen purchasing gigantic black plastic dildos and various ‘torture devices’. Police released stills from that tape showing Lafaver, who is wearing a very short halter sundress with no under-panties, strolling through the store while the boy, Beenie Ramsoom, is seen shoplifting handcuffs and one flogging device.
Officer Gormley told the press, “I don’t really know which one to believe. This Beenie kid is missing his nuts, and his scrotum, even with medical help, looks like it was chewed on my a pit bull, but he did stick around before that and witness her Saturday night prayer and flogging parties.”
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Entry #: 328 |
Entry Date: 2009-10-29 23:16:56
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| Name: |
Robert Margold, JEWISH MESSIAH |
| Web Site: |
SUCK MY DICK, L. RON HUBBARD!!!!! |
| Site Rating: |
9 |
Visitor Comments: Just so you know, I heard about yet another Scientology scam, this time in Paris, and so I thought "if L. Ron DULLARD can start some fake religious, then I can be another Jewish Messiah, at least until I make enough money to buy that whore house in Cancun, and I've got my eye on one which is a bi-whorehouse, and already have invested in a gay one; it's called "COCKSUCKING MESSIAH" right there among all of the tourists. It's a fun place, and makes some decent $$$ for me, but I need more since I'm being blackmailed by some weird followers of Mother Teresa there in Calcutta. Don't worry. I'll just have my lawyer cut their tits off.
Hey, here is the article from Paris. Leave it to the Scientologists to stain your brain. They don't approve of psychiatrists, but they all need them!
And repeat after me:
JESUS RULES FOR FUCKING SURE!
Your friend,
Robert Margold
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PARIS SCIENTOLOGY CHURCH FRAUD
By Gregory Viscusi
Paris Revue de News
Oct. 27 2009
The French branch of the Church of Scientology was convicted of organized fraud by a Paris court. According to police records, this is the twenty-fifth conviction.
The Scientology Celebrity Center and a related bookshop in Paris were fined a total of 650,000 euros ($967,890) today. The court didn’t restrict the church’s activities in France and didn’t order jail time for directors. According to the judge, "The Church of Scientology is actually a total scam and fraud, but at least it gives money to the Paris SPANK ME, JESUS Clubs, and the money goes for new enema equipment, paddles, and lots of drugs".
“No one recruited or sold for their own benefit, it was all for the organization,” said Judge Helene Chat, reading the decision. “It is more expedient to punish with a large fine and post their orgy photos via CONFESSIONS ONLINE and by alerting future members with widespread publication of the ruling.”
The case stemmed from complaints by over forty women that the church harassed them to buy products including vitamins, flavored condoms, Sarah Palin enema and colonic equipment, and enroll in classes dealing with anal and oral 'workouts'. An investigating judge sent the group to trial against the recommendations of the Paris prosecutor, who had advised dropping the case, saying "Hey, these criminals were just having a little fun at others' expense. What the fuck'.
Lawyers for the church said they would study the ruling before deciding whether to lodge an appeal, or as George Bush said about such religious activities, "Maybe they just wanted to peal a lodge, sort of like a chocolate log and its trip up the Hershey Highway. I don't know about this church but I know about Jesus and HE is my man, for fucking sure, dudes".
Alain Rosenberg, the church’s leader in France, was given a two-year suspended jail sentence and a 30,000-euro fine. The court said the sentence was suspended in part because of “efforts by the association to change its practices which ofcourse have not happened in the past, but one can hope; these Scientologists are so full of shit that we can only hope the Palin enemas might work. Just hook these fuckers up to their e-meters and they'll piss all over you.”
Today’s decision is “one if many times in France that Scientology has been condemned as a legal entity,” said Olivier Moricedes, a lawyer for the complainants. “The organization now knows it is being watched and it loves that because it thrives on publicity and religious nonsense, selling theta-beta pooter machines even on street corners and to children.”
The French government revised its laws just before the trial, removing the risk of expulsion from France if the church was found guilty of 'funny activities in public toilets' as has happened in the past.
Scientology was founded in 1952 by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, and the first church was set up in Los Angeles in 1954, according to the group’s Web site. Prior to being established as a church, Hubbard called it Dianetics, but was 'in hot water' and fined for 'healing people of cancerous anal canals and bowels' by using one of his tin-can e-meters. By turning this scam into a "church" he could avoid taxes and jail time.
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